Houston, we have movement

The baby is making his or her presence known! It started out as a strange vibration feeling. I chalked it up as nothing ... all in my head. But still it was strange and I took note. Then on Saturday I went to get a massage. As I was laying on my stomach, totally relaxed and enjoying the massage, I felt a thud. It only happened once, but it definitely caught my attention. And then Monday night as I was trying to go to sleep I felt an undeniable fluttering sensation in my stomach. It was so awesome and lasted for a good minute. I cannot begin to put into words how special this feeling is. I love knowing our little monkey is in there moving around. I am in total awe of this little miracle who we already love so much!

In other news, only 26 days until the big gender ultrasound! I cannot wait!

Here's the 16 week update:

Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

Now that you're here...

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A pregnancy survey

How far along? 16W, 1D
Total weight gain: 3.5 pounds
Maternity clothes? All maternity pants, but I’m still getting away with some regular tops. It won’t be long though, my stomach is getting bigger
Stretch marks? None.
Sleep: I wake up at least once every night to go to the bathroom or move around, but I’m still sleeping well because I fall back to sleep right away
Best moment this week: Feeling the baby move!
Movement: It started last week with a light vibration feel in my stomach. Then I felt a kick on Saturday and last night I felt some fluttering going on!
Food cravings: OJ, eggs, PBJ, pizza, deli sandwiches, ice cream and fruit.
Food aversions: I’m becoming a very picky eater – it’s terrible. The worst aversion is to meat, chicken in particular.
Gender: Still waiting to find out. The ultrasound is set for Oct. 21, but I might move it up because I’m feeling impatient.
Labor Signs: Oh god no.
Belly Button in or out? In, it looks kind of funny with the rest of my belly
What I miss: Red wine and medium rare tuna, yum!
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the gender and preparing for the baby!
Weekly Wisdom: Don’t compare yourself with other women. Every woman (and pregnancy for that matter) is different.
Milestones: Making it to 2nd tri and feeling the baby move!

A little freaked out right now

I've posted before about how I've been having crazy pregnancy dreams. Well this one takes the cake. Last night I had a dream about this girl, let's call her Sally, who I haven't talked to in a few months. The last time we talked we had some words and we were both pissed. Since we're not friends and have no regular contact, I assumed that would be it.

Well I had a dream last night that Sally e-mailed me about my pregnancy, but the e-mail was a little snarky. And guess what... I just got an email from her (less than 24 hours after the dream) congratulating me on my pregnancy and it was snarky. I don't care so much about what she said, but that I totally knew it was going to happen before it did. Is pregnancy making my psychic? LOL!

Pregnancy -- an engineer's perspective

Allen is an engineer and thus thinks like an engineer – totally analytical. This is the same guy who at one point told me that babies are not practical – seriously. Who says that?

Regardless, I’ve always known that Allen will be a fantastic dad. He’s in the Big Brothers program and is a wonderful mentor for his little brother Jonathan. He’s one of the most patient people I know and incredibly loving. How could he not be?

But given his inexperience with babies, I figured his fathering instinct would kick in after the baby was born (he said it would when the baby was 5). Boy was I wrong.

From day one Allen has been more excited and more involved that I ever could have expected. He’s on his third fatherhood/pregnancy book and is teaching me everything he’s learned. An average night with Allen is filled with questions about whether or not we should hire a doula, discussions on delivery plans (we need to do it now!) and even thoughts on the Bradley Method (I had never even heard of this before him). And don't even get him started on childcare!

He insists on going to all of my appointments with me -- not just the big ones -- and cautions me not to lift things that are too heavy or to overdo it. He's very protective of both me and the baby.

I think his funniest comment to date though was when he said he couldn't wait for our child to be an adult because he was looking forward to having an adult relationship with him or her. Keep in mind the baby was about the size of a grape at that point :)

Really, this shouldn’t be all that surprising. though. Any time Allen is faced with the unknown – whether it’s building the ultimate man cave or taking a trip – he learns everything there is to know on the subject. That’s how analytical people make decisions and I’m very much this way, too.

But I am overwhelmed by his response to pregnancy. He’s taking such good care of me and I feel so lucky to share this experience (and my life) with him. He is a wonderful husband and father. I couldn't ask for more.

Embarrassing confession of the day

I have dreamed about being pregnant (and a mother) for years. Here’s the embarrassing part – more than once I have stuck out my stomach in the mirror to try to see what I would look like pregnant. OK fine, I’ve also stuck a small pillow in my shirt before. I’m not proud to admit it, but seriously who hasn’t at one point or another? :)

Don’t worry, there is a point to this story: I always thought I would be so excited to have a cute baby bump. In fact I couldn’t wait to have one. So it came as a shock to me that my reaction to my growing belly was less than enthusiastic.

At first I was horrified by it. I kept telling myself that it was too early to already have a little bump. And then it was too early to need a bella band. The bigger my tummy got, the worse I felt.

It’s hard to explain why this bothers me. I’m just now beginning to understand myself. The obvious reason is that I’m just insecure with my new body.

But I think there's more to it than that. I think the root of my insecurity is that I’ve been comparing myself to everyone else. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I’m reminded that so and so wasn’t this big at 15 weeks and I feel like there’s something wrong with me.

Of course this is ridiculous. First, I’m only remembering the people who didn’t show right away. I have plenty of friends who showed early. But most importantly, it shouldn’t matter if I’m bigger or smaller than someone else because every person and pregnancy is different.

I realized tonight that I need to stop comparing myself and just go with the flow. If I can do this, I think I will have a much happier pregnancy. And that’s the ultimate point of this post – to remind myself of this promise when I’m feeling low. And we all know admiting you have a problem is the first step :)

15 Week update

Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs.

Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds.

Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")